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Social Anxiety

8 Reasons Why Wednesday Doesn't Have Social Anxiety

We’re going to dissect the character Wednesday from the Netflix show

Have you seen the show Wednesday? Let’s look at it from a different lens.

The Addams Family movies came out a few years after I was born, but it didn’t take long for me to be hooked and watch them on repeat. Honestly, I have fond memories of watching the Addams Family growing up.

So when the new Wednesday show hit the screen, I was all up for it. 

Curious, I turned on Netflix, and there it was. Already a Top 10 hit. By now, if you’ve been paying attention, you’ll know that it’s broken a few records (in fact, it broke its record and has garnered over 411 million hours viewed).

The show follows Wednesday as she’s sent to a boarding school (Nevermore Academy) made explicitly for outcasts. While Wednesday tries to live with a newfound psychic ability, she tries to solve a mysterious killing spree plaguing the academy and its nearby town.

You might not know this, but the show was filmed exclusively in Romania (my home country!), which makes it even more fun for me to watch. I’m excited to put the locations on my list of things to see next time I visit. If you haven’t visited Romania, I HIGHLY recommend it, and even more so by using Booking.

Now, even if you have zero connection with the Addams Family or the show Wednesday, you’ll be interested in what I have to say next.

Watching the show made me realize that there are a few reasons why Wednesday does NOT have social anxiety. In writing this list, I looked at Wednesday’s character as a whole, spanning the decades.

I wanted to highlight these points because, in a perfect world, we’d check them all off too, but this goes to show that only a fictional character can indeed be free of social anxiety (even then, there are moments where we glimpse that she does feel it sometimes).

Before you come for me with comments on this, YES, I realize it’s fiction, and she’s not a real person. I’ve received comments of this nature on my video, and all I have to say to those people is that they need to join a book club and start deconstructing characters and plot lines.

I’m not here to diagnose a fictional character, so as long as we don’t take this too seriously, we can have fun talking about it.

8 reasons why Wednesday doesn’t have social anxiety

1. Her self-acceptance is rooted in a judgment-free family

We get a better glimpse at her relationship with her parents in the original movies, even though they appear in the show. From what we can see, her parents are her biggest fans, cheering her on no matter how dark or terrorizing her ideas are. 

Rarely, if ever, do we see them put her down for being the way she is. They admire what she’s capable of. 

How this relates to social anxiety: 

There’s no reason for social anxiety to fester (pun intended) for someone raised in such an environment bare of judgment. Everyone is left to their own devices and allowed to flourish in the however dark direction they want to, instead of being moulded into someone else’s reflection.

2. She rejoices at being rejected

We can see this happening in almost every episode, where she goes out of her way to be happily left out by any groups at the school. She wants nothing to do with her roommate and verbally lets her know what she thinks about her. In a perfect world, Wednesday wouldn’t have to interact with anyone.

How this relates to social anxiety:

Fear of rejection is at the core of social anxiety. Imagine walking around, actually happy to be rejected and looking for it. You see it as further evidence you’re meant to walk a different path than everyone else and have zero qualms about being left out of typical activities.

3. She focuses on her interests without guilt or shame

While at the school, she’s fixated on a few things: solving the mystery around the murders and writing her book. Those are her two main drivers while she’s forced to participate in “normal” activities, such as the canoe race, the school dance, and the community day.

 Throughout the show, we also see her practice her Cello, journal, and have killer mad fencing and fighting skills. 

How this relates to social anxiety:

Having obscure hobbies can make one a target of teasing and shaming, which is why many of us hide our true selves. We don’t share what lights us up, and we do our best to participate in activities and hobbies that are more accepted and recognized (even though we’re miserable doing them).

4. She does not compare herself to anyone else around her

This recurring theme is probably the most vital point highlighting why Wednesday doesn’t have social anxiety. She minds her own business, doesn’t change how she dresses, doesn’t try to fit in, and knows her life goals (she doesn’t stray from them). 

Even when her feelings towards her mother show up, we can see that the last thing she wants is to be compared to her mother (or walk in her shoes).

How this relates to social anxiety: 

The moment we start comparing ourselves to our neighbour, friend, manager, etc., is when we open the door to social anxiety. Being resolute in who we are is the only safeguard against comparison.

5. She challenges the status quo

Why should she dress up her dolls when she can chop their heads off and sleep with dismembered bodies? Why would she dress in colourful clothes when she can make a statement with her black dress? Or care about frivolous dance parties when she has a novel to write? 

Wednesday is all about challenging the status quo head-on. Even when she challenges a student to a fencing match, she invokes the military-style way (the first to draw blood).

How this relates to social anxiety:

Those who experience social anxiety daily will do everything they can to fit in, not make much noise, and put on a mask to make everyone else comfortable. That’s not the Wednesday way. 

Challenging the status quo is one way to rally against social anxiety because you’re telling it that no matter how much pushback you get, you’re standing your ground, unflinching.

6. She expresses herself on paper than through talking

You’re probably wondering “what does this have to do with social anxiety?!” I can see why it can be confusing but I’ll keep it short and clear. If we look at Wednesday, we can see that she’d rather spend her time writing her novel than interacting with humans. 

The fact that she spends the majority of her time writing (talking about her character in general), removes the likelihood that she’ll experience social anxiety.

How this relates to social anxiety:

Having social anxiety means that you’re scared of being judged, rejected, and evaluated by others. This can happen in many ways, forms, and situations. Most of the time it has to do with how we present ourselves, and what we say (or don’t say). 

Communicating verbally enhances our social anxiety because with each passing minute, as the anxiety rises, we might freeze or stumble on our thoughts. So, while she might experience social anxiety, she’s radically reducing her chances.

7. She doesn’t use social media (no phone)

Yep, I had to put this in there. Have you tried taking a break from social media to see how you feel? I promise you’ll be a whole new person by the end of the time. 

You’ll remove the need to compare yourself daily, as you most likely do now, and you’ll have more time on your hands to do things you genuinely enjoy. Wednesday doesn’t have social anxiety because she’s not “social.” 

How this relates to social anxiety:

Studies have shown that the more time we spend on social media, the more dire the effects are on our mental health. One of the five ways to quickly start managing your social anxiety is by reducing your social media consumption. You can grab my free guide here on how to do that

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8. She associates herself with people (and Thing) that also don’t fit in

Wednesday doesn’t have social anxiety because she’s not trying to fit into a box. She IS a box. And she surrounds herself with people who are also misfits – this reduces the chance of feeling self-conscious because you’re not the one standing out all the time. 

You feel welcome if everyone around you stands out, too (compared to the status quo).

How this relates to social anxiety:

Growing up, we all want to fit in and be friends with the popular kids; it shields us from being teased, hurt, bullied, and left out. But by forcing ourselves to be who we’re not, we’ll end up surrounded by people who don’t know or value us for what we bring to the table. 

Being friends with people we genuinely care for and who care for us will have social anxiety standing on the side.

Long story short, now you have a clearer picture as to why Wednesday is so cool and collected even as she does things that are totally socially inappropriate.

 Once I go through the show a second time around, I’ll update with more detail and nuance, as I feel like there’s more than just these 8 points. 

If you’ve seen the show, I’d love to know your thoughts on it and if you agree with these points I made about why I think Wednesday doesn’t have social anxiety.

Here’s a quick video I made to highlight each point.

I’m dissecting the character Wednesday from the new Netflix show Wednesday from the perspective of social anxiety.

Here are 8 reasons why Wednesday doesn’t have social anxiety:

  • Her self-acceptance is rooted in a judgment-free family
  • She rejoices at being rejected
  • She focuses on her interests without guilt or shame
  • She does not compare herself to anyone else around her
  • She challenges the status quo
  • She expresses herself on paper than through talking
  • She doesn’t use social media (no phone)
  • She associates herself with people (and thing) that also don’t fit in

I'm Roxana Alexandru

I went from being scared to ask a question out loud to hosting summits online. I love coffee, french crepes, and working from home. My mission? Help others build their social confidence to make friends, have conversations, and be comfortable around people!

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