1. Having an outdated worldview

These are 3 examples of an outdated worldview, but there are many others that I don’t have the time to get into.

• Holding onto the traditional gender-role perspective. One indication of this is thinking that women should stay home with the children while the men work or that men or women should exclusively fill specific job roles.
• Believing tattoos are for hooligans and uneducated people. What’s in someone’s brain does not correlate with how they present themselves. Let them talk before making a judgment. But even then, I will stick with the belief that I can learn from anyone, regardless of skin color, class, or education.
• That there is a superior race/people. I don’t need to discuss it. It’s self-explanatory. These views play directly into the hands of social anxiety as you’ll start comparing yourself to others, be resentful toward them, and feel like you’re on your own. Test your thoughts and beliefs often.

2. Seeking confirmation bias over reality or evidence-backed science

Here are 2 examples that expand on this point:

1. Believing something rooted in conspiracy, being dismissive of scientific evidence or theories, such as carbon dating and evolution, or even something as simple as believing that the Earth is round.

We can see science in action today, so seeking confirmation bias from a tight-knit community that counters it is problematic. What ends up happening is the preservation of beliefs through isolation and staying inside a bubble that feeds the narrative. It’s a formula for loneliness, anger, and avoidance.

2. Choosing Facebook group advice over the medical community.

We’ve seen this play out during the pandemic and how it made life harder for the healthcare workers who were completely overwhelmed worldwide with an influx of cases because too many people refused to believe the dangers. Let alone the number of people who died.

The Facebook groups are alive and well, sharing misinformation across the board.

Whenever I fall victim to confirmation bias, I try to stop myself and pull back. It’s a normal human reaction, but I’m working on re-wiring myself by looking at several sources, asking around, and making an informed decision that is not emotionally charged or opinion-based.

3. Not exposing yourself to new things regularly

Here are 2 examples of ways you can start exposing yourself:

1. Traveling 

Travel isn’t just going overseas; but also visiting nearby cities, countries, and states (depending on where you live).

It’s running into people who don’t look like you, don’t live like you, or see life like you. What happens if you don’t seek out travel is that you’re not coming into contact with the world at large, and my goodness is the world large and beautiful and magical!

Another more direct reason to travel is that you’ll learn to adapt faster, be more flexible in your thinking, and see yourself through a new lens. And, of course, it opens you up to people.

2. Not seeking out new experiences.

Whether chasing a new hobby, finding a new interest, or going out of your way to test your comfort zone. Through lived experience, you can make new connections, both with others and within yourself.

This is the best way to learn more about who you are and how you want to show up. Also, as a plus, it’s been shown that people who experience new things regularly don’t feel like life is passing them by.

All 3 of these (outdated worldview, seeking confirmation bias, not exposing yourself) make your box super tiny.

They can also pit someone against the world, creating an anti-social mentality. Rigid thinking will do anyone in! And that’s fine if that’s how someone wants to live and is happy with themselves and they have fulfilling relationships, but I’m willing to bet that’s not the case.

If that’s you, and you’re feeling defensive over any of these points, that’s a great indication to see where the triggers are coming from.

Were you raised to believe certain things that now, as an adult, you still hang on to by habit, but you know you were misled? That’s ok!

We all have that.

There are so many things I was told while growing up that don’t pass the test anymore. Whether from family, friends, school, or society. It’s just a fact of life that we all need to re-educate ourselves and question our values and belief systems.

Honestly, I still have a hard time letting go of the belief that quicksand isn’t going to kill me the way it’s portrayed in movies. The worst is that you die of dehydration because no one’s coming to pull you out. Who knew?!

In his book, Think Again, Adam Grant goes at length to promote regularly challenging your beliefs:

“Thinking again requires us to doubt our own competence – to recognize that we’re not as smart as we thought we were and that other people might see the world differently from how we do.”

Only by removing your ego and making space for new information, even conflicting information, can you be open to the world and make your way to the other side.

Do this and watch your box expand. Hopefully, it expands so far into the atmosphere you can’t see its walls anymore.

Bye-bye box! Bye-bye, social anxiety! 

Welcome openness, dialogue, and relationships. Again, it’s not about changing yourself but changing how you think. That’s where the bulk of our life’s work should be. Make it a fun game to question your thoughts regularly and see how often you’re wrong.

Most likely, you don’t have extreme views like thinking the Earth is flat, but we are all victims of bad thinking. Thinking that closes us off from the world and the people around us.

Preconceived notions we need to break down. I like to say, “See being “wrong” as a good thing – because it is.” It’s the only path to growth and being one with the world.