Social Anxiety Expert
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Social Anxiety
Don't fall victim to the Fresh Start Effect
There’s a better way to tackle your goals without feeling bad about yourself
The Fresh Start Effect is the strongest on New Year’s day.
Today I want to talk about – sniff sniff ooooo do you smell that?
The delicious aroma of motivation, with added excitement and purpose floating in the air—that’s the fresh start effect we all fall victim to.
I thought it would be appropriate to talk about this since it’s the new year, and that’s when the effect hits us the strongest.
Why We Crave Fresh Starts
This effect explains why we feel so driven by new beginnings, like January 1st, Mondays, or birthdays. These temporal landmarks give us a sense of renewal and a chance to pursue our goals with a clean slate.
It makes us feel psychologically distanced from our past mistakes, habits, or patterns. We feel empowered to step into our new big girl or boy shoes.
You’ve likely felt it before: You’re inspired, energized, and ready to take on the world. Whether it’s hitting the gym, starting that book you’ve been dreaming of, or finally getting serious about making new friends, you think,
This is it. This is my time. 2025, here I come!
But what often happens next? Days pass, excuses creep in, and the initial excitement fades. “I’ll start Monday” turns into “Maybe next week.”
That’s the trap of the Fresh Start Effect—it gives us motivation, but if we rely solely on it, we risk losing momentum.
Waiting for the “perfect” start date can backfire. When we tie progress to arbitrary dates, we risk falling into procrastination and self-blame if things don’t go as planned.
Avoiding the Trap
Oops, I ate a chocolate-loaded fudge brownie on January 4th. There goes my fresh start; I just ruined it. See you in 2026.
That’s usually how we feel about ourselves, right? When we feel like we failed, like we let ourselves down. It’s like, Oh, I didn’t stick to my resolution. I didn’t stick to what I wanted to do.
The clean slate is now kinda dirty.
When that thought pops in, you can kiss your fresh start goodbye because the initial motivation, excitement, and purpose fade. You’re giving yourself leeway and allowing excuses to invade your internal conversation.
Not only that, but you’re allowing time to chip away at your intention.
And you know that the longer you wait to do something, the less likely you will do it.
This is why I’ve abandoned New Year’s resolutions in the last couple of years and no longer wait for my birthday to come around for a fresh start.
Who wants to be reminded on their birthday that they haven’t achieved what they set out on their last birthday…
I find this way of living extremely damaging to my self-esteem, and it adds unnecessary weight to my shoulders—a weight I can’t afford to carry.
The New Mindset: Micro Fresh Starts
Waiting for a specific date to start fresh often leads to disappointment and self-blame. Instead, I’ve embraced micro-fresh starts entirely independent of set dates—and you can, too.
No more being chained to cultural milestones, waiting for them to come around. These smaller, intentional resets can happen anytime, not just on January 1st or Mondays.
And if you feel like you messed up your clean slate, well, there’s another one ready for you tomorrow!
That’s the best part of this mindset. No more wasting time or feeling bad about yourself! No more arbitrary dates such as the next birthday, the next full moon, the next Friday, or the 13th.
Every moment can be your fresh start. A year from now, you’ll have wished you started today – I bet you’ve heard this saying before. It’s so true!
5 Quick Ways To Manage Your Social Anxiety
There’s no substitute for effort, but you can speed up the process if you understand and take these 5 ways seriously. This is your starter pack; what you do with it is up to you.
How to Embrace Micro Fresh Starts
Here’s an example. NaNoWriMo, right? So National Novel Writing Month happens every year in November. And the purpose is, okay, on November 1st, you start writing your draft.
Don’t wait until November 1st. Don’t waste 10 months. If you want to write a book, a novel, whatever the case may be, don’t wait for that date.
Maybe in November, you can also participate and write your fifth book of the year. Okay, that’s what I’m talking about, but given that it’s January, it’s okay to start fresh.
But then, after a few months, if you feel like you’re falling out and you’re not continuing with the habit, don’t give up; set up a new micro-fresh start.
And hopefully, it’s that same day.
Make this change in your mindset, and you’ll see how free you’ll feel and how much more you can accomplish throughout the year. I promise it works. Break free from the chains and be your agent.
Applying This to Social Anxiety
Regarding social anxiety, there is no better day to shift your mindset than today. Make a pact with yourself, sign a contract if necessary, and bake in socializing daily.
And then, a year later, you’ll notice how far you’ve come. And if you stray off the path at some point, don’t write off all your effort. Don’t wait until the following Monday next month, or next whatever, to get back into socializing.
And if you need a push in the buttocks because you don’t know where to start, I have just the thing for you. You can get my Social Anxiety Challenge Workbook for half the price because you’re a listener to this podcast.
In it, you’ll find 35 tasks to challenge yourself. Do them all in a month, or space them out; it’s up to you. While the tasks are significant, the effort to rewire your brain comes right after completing each.
It involves reflecting on what happened and how you felt during the task. This hard work will give you the most insights to take along your journey.
I promise you’ll see yourself much differently after going through this workbook.
Of course, after practicing the micro-fresh starts on an ongoing basis, you don’t feel the insane pressure to stick to one set date.
We’re back with a fresh start mindset for 2025! More aptly, we’ll explore the ‘fresh start effect’ and why setting specific dates for starting a goal can backfire. Instead, we’ll discuss a different strategy (micro-fresh starts) to keep you on track and remind you that not all is lost if you trip up throughout the year.
I'm Roxana
I went from being scared to ask a question out loud to hosting summits online. I love coffee, french crepes, and working from home. My mission? Help others build their social confidence to make friends, have conversations, and be comfortable around people!
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I'm Roxana Alexandru
As a social anxiety expert I share my best strategies and tips that I’ve learned on my journey to help you manage your social anxiety.
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